In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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