Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
