stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
