TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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