He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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