he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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