Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
