apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
