Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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