I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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