i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
