dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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