A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
