what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he shaved USA in his pubs
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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