These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
