I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i want to swaddle you in tequila
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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