Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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