addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
