Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
