this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my vag is so smooth its legendary
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
