Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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