you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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