Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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