She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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