Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
