This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
