Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
