I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
