Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
