bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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