a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
