I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
