I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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