I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
