this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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