I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
