I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
