the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
