I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
