I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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