i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
