i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
