Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
