i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
