If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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