i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
