I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
