i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
