can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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