My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
